Two of my posts are rather late in the making. My Sacred Seven post for RabbitPoets is still in development because I can’t think of any way to express my boredom with it that isn’t a snort of derision. My Blood-C post is also on the drawing room floor, haphazardly obscured by scrawled drafts and failed dreams, all sticky with Caramello and shame. I’m emasculating myself by listening to Nightwish on repeat, Tarja’s operatic warbling resonating with my very being to such a degree that my eye can’t stop twitching for some weird reason. And I just don’t have the attention span at the moment to sit through and dissect an episode of Penguindrum, as much as I want to.
So what was the point of all that? I need to write something, so I figured I’d take this Metanorn post and go into detail as to why Madara would win in a fight against Kyubey. You may call it laziness and filler, and I’m fully inclined to agree with you. So here we go!
First, let’s compare the two. Madara is a centuries old youkai, imprisoned by a teenage boy’s bored, whimsical grandmother decades prior to the events of the main story. Unless Natsume or he are in danger, he retains the form of a pudgy Maneki Neko and whittles away his days drinking sake, annoying other youkai with his horrid singing, and just being a lout. Originally guarding Natsume only to obtain the Book of Friends upon his death, he eventually grows attached to the boy and becomes his friend.
When in danger, he transforms into a powerful ayakashi and subdues the threat with little trouble. In short, he’s mostly harmless except when he doesn’t want to be. He’s mostly self-centered, but his intentions are far from evil or entirely self serving.
Most Likely Alignment: Neutral Good; Only wants the Book of Friends, too lazy to act outside that unless it threatens his deal with Natsume.
Kyubey is an alien entity known as an incubator who grants girls wishes in exchange for their souls. When the girls inevitably give into despair, they release energy in direct proportion to the strength of their soul and become abominations known as witches, which spread nothing but grief and discord wherever they go. Emotion is something entirely foreign to the cold, analytical Kyubey, who doesn’t view what he does as evil. His main goal is to keep energy flowing into the universe to counteract the force of entropy, energy released through the transformation of magical girls into witches.
By human standards, Kyubey is evil and is unabashed in his declaration of his goals, going so far as to compare humans to cattle ripe for the slaughter. To make matters worse, Kyubey seems to have the ability to reincarnate endlessly, making him a constant threat. However, he’s single minded in his motivations, not likely to stray from his goals even in self defense.
Most Likely Alignment: Lawful Evil; Evil by human standards, plays within his own rules to manipulate girls into selling their souls for wishes, but doesn’t stray outside of the bounds set by those rules… though they are rather loose.
Ability-wise, the two are on different levels. Madara is swift and powerful, but not invulnerable. Kyubey is quick on his feet, but not exactly the fighting type. Madara could rip into Kyubey a million times without resistance, but would fail in completely destroying the incubator. Kyubey, on the contrary, would simply regenerate but wouldn’t necessarily fight back. He has only one purpose in his life, and that’s to harness the energy of souls for the sake of preserving the universe. Fighting a creature opposed to those goals would inconvenience and slow him down more than anything, especially considering his apparent ability to teleport wherever he pleases.
Because of the above, Madara would win should the two ever enter into a scuffle. Kyubey is only an insistent passive aggressive threat to desperate girls, while Madara is defensive against anything resembling a threat. In the end though, I doubt they’d ever end up fighting. Both of them have goals that aren’t exactly in conflict, so they’d be just as likely to nod pleasantly in acknowledgement if they passed each other on the street as they would ignore each other completely.
If you are so inclined, please comment and tell me who you think would win. Or comment just to make me feel validated in posting this. Or accuse me of using this as an excuse to offload a small piece of my extensive collection of Nyanko screens, because that’s entirely truthful.