Before I get to my impressions, I’d like you to imagine something. Visualize a lush expanse of rolling green plains as far as the eye can see in every direction. You’re on a tour bus driving along the solitary road going through these rural grasslands, touring the area with the help of your slightly attractive tour guide. You notice that said tour guide looks a bit young, but you swiftly put those thoughts out of your head as you see a doe and her fawn gallop alongside the tour bus for a brief few seconds. It’s not an altogether interesting tour, but you nonetheless make an effort to put your uncle’s last minute Christmas present to good use and prove wrong your grandmother’s notions regarding his worth.
The tour guide says something about how deer are indigenous to this area, but you nod only to show that you were kind of listening to what she was saying. She notices this halfhearted reaction, and then proceeds to strip everything off but her underwear, throw the clothes in your face, then leap off the bus only to be hit by a 16-wheeler that’s been following for the past three miles. Is that image burned in your brain? Good, because the first episode of Rinne no Lagrange is vaguely like that, except with more robots.
For a slightly less impenetrable comparison, and what likely won’t be the only such one, picture the first episode of Evangelion. Now replace a whiny boy who has father issues with an excitable teenager who gets poked and groped all over several times in the course of the episode. That’s the first episode of Lagrange, in essence. Let’s do a checklist comparison, since writing about the episode itself would be far less fruitful.
Vaguely inhuman blue-themed girl who has difficulty comprehending this thing called ‘emotion’:
Protagonist is one of a select few that can pilot the mechs in this universe:
Check. Though apparently Madoka has the key planted in her ass somewhere, unlike Shinji whose secret is more hilariousy Freudian.
Protagonist has to defend Earth from somewhat unpredictable alien menace:
Red-themed female character that doesn’t show up until later in the series:
I can only imagine what went on in the staff meetings, aside from the obvious answer of lines of cocaine snorted off the backs of women dressed up as Evangelion Units. The only two things that set this apart from its much more storied counterpart are the inexplicable fanservice and the moe character designs. With all that said, it’s hardly a bad start to the show, it just doesn’t have an original bone in its body. It’s a wholly mediocre start to what I perceive will be a wholly mediocre series, and just like that metaphorical tour guide flattened by a 16-wheeler, it won’t ever get completely off the ground.
Also, the boobs making springing noises when poked, apparently.